a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

getting better fella , just lol

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

"If you win the lottery, the first thing I want
you to get me is a Face lift and a Boob job" said my wife as I was checking my ticket.

"Well actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo" I replied.

"Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one" she said.

"My point exactly"

 

[villa_tom]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

An alien couple come down to earth and go to a swingers party.

They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alian man takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock

The human woman says "I'm not impressed with this at all"

The alien then twists his right ear and and his cock grows ten inches.

"Now I am impressed!" says the women

The alien then twists his left ear and his cock becomes 2 inches thick and he gives the women the best seeing to she has ever had.

Afterwards she meets up with her husband and asks "How was it for you darling?"

"****ing ****e" he replied "All she did was keep twisting my ears!"

 

[SimonG]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Today I feel like a tampon.............in a good place....................... at the wrong time!

 

[villa_tom]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Women are just like computers.

You don't realise how important they are until they go down on you

 

[Blackcatgas]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A delivery man knocks on nelson mandellas door,
Hello Ive got 500 brake pads for you, sign here,
500 brake pads there must be some mistake?
Your names on the ticket mate ,sign here.
the next day the delivery man calls again, hello Ive got 100 air filters for you,
100 air filters, I havent orderd those?,
well your names down on the delivery address mate,
hmmm.. ok then,
the next day the delivery man calls again,
hello mate Ive got 200 tyres for you,
Nelsons getting ****ed of by now and is running out of places to store the unwanted bits......
Look mate I havent orderd any of these things...
Well your names on this clip board mate,
Nelson takes the clip board.... That doesnt say Nelson Mandella!, that says Nissan Main Dealer.

LOL

 

[CES]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I was driving this morning when I passed an AA van parked by the road. I saw the driver sat on the kerb with his head in his hands crying and shaking his head and thought he's heading for a breakdown.

 

[CES]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I met a girl in a nightclub and told her "Im going to have you in my bedroom, my bathroom, my kitchen and my lounge when we get back to my place" "Wow" she said,"Lets go, its good to find a man with such stamina!" She wasnt impressed when we arrived at my caravan

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I met a girl in a nightclub and told her "Im going to have you in my bedroom, my bathroom, my kitchen and my lounge when we get back to my place" "Wow" she said,"Lets go, its good to find a man with such stamina!" She wasnt impressed when we arrived at my caravan

pmsfl

 

[SafeGasInstall]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

pmsfl-please explain it mate ?pardon me