General rant thread

[negas]

Dog owners who say "ooh you don't mind dogs do you". No i don't provided A: Don't expect me to let it lick me with that 'ive just licked my bum hole' tongue. B: Don't expect me to stroke it cos my hand will stink like a tramps fanny. C: I'm not its playmate for the day and get it away from my tools.

And how many female tramps
have you molested???

 

[Whyme]

i wouldn't say molested, they'd do oat for a tenants super.

 

[Toxic Ted]

i wouldn't say molested, they'd do oat for a tenants super.

Man......who the hell would go near the undercarriage of anything drinking Tennants Super gravy

 

[Millsy 82]

Parts that don't come with all the bits needed to fit them even though I have asked the manufacturer does it come with everything!

People who see you and go "are you a heating engineer? Can you come and have a look at this for me?" Phone the office and get it booked in! "Oh but it will only take 5 minutes and they will charge"

People who don't listen and make you do more work to come to the same conclusion that you've had for the past 4 visits and for the sake of having somebody drop ladders and a roof ladder off to me it would of been sorted in 30mins!

And most of all ed milliband! Or whatever his name is.

 

[Ermintrude]

Lazy engineers.

Yeh fga was at 400! Yeh it's the flue......

This is how the inside looked after a service from Said subby

 

[Ermintrude]

My son in law asked if he can have the copper pipe as all your going to do with it is weigh it in? Yeh he can buy it back at £7.5kg we decommissioned we stripped and we carried it all out so yes . If he wants it all it will be £1100 ish?

 

[Solderwire]

ooohh its urgent my boiler dosen't work,
make an appointment turn up and customers not in....:73:

 

[lame plumber]

or turn up at there house in the most god forsaken street in town with no parking nearby to fit the rad they have bought, to find its at their office/workshop 6 miles away still, and the office is locked when you get there as they have popped out on a delivery!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rickster123]

Merchants who deliver boilers with bits missing from the boxes!!

 

[parkesy_plumb]

working for family members

 

[wildcard]

Paying for van insurance,p/liability insurance,gas safe renewal & FGA Recal all in the same month when I"ve got a quiet patch.

 

[parkesy_plumb]

Paying for van insurance,p/liability insurance,gas safe renewal & FGA Recal all in the same month when I"ve got a quiet patch.

ouch .. sorry to hear mate

 

[Whyme]

Yet again Bellend apprentices. Asked to shut all bleed pips he opened, "are they shut", "yeah"..Psssssssssss....what about the towel warmer cunningly hidden behind a towel in the now flooded en suite..Dick...He cross threaded 3 rad valves and left them till they pished out on fill and made a right dogs dinner of all the lagging ffs.

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

Yet again Bellend apprentices. Asked to shut all bleed pips he opened, "are they shut", "yeah"..Psssssssssss....what about the towel warmer cunningly hidden behind a towel in the now flooded en suite..Dick...He cross threaded 3 rad valves and left them till they pished out on fill and made a right dogs dinner of all the lagging ffs.

Punishment by black eye and split lip.

 

[Ermintrude]

You need to get him sorted out. Sit the little fudge stick town and let rip. Clearly some thing wrong in your relationship. Your the pimp he's the ho. He should be able to make mistakes as that's how we learn but mistakes due to lazy ness or ignorance = being treated like poop for a week. Actions have consequences. Probably still gets mommy to clean his clothes and pay his phone bill

 

[Whyme]

I hear ya erm. He is a little wet nursed freak. no apologies either. Think a head lock and fiberglass down his strides will sort it..I could quite easily have strangled the chocolate eating coke swigging at 8o'clock in the morning fool.

 

[Leo21]

Customers.

 

[Rickster123]

Council tenants who tell you you're too early at 8am on a Saturday morning. Can I come back at 9.30am?!?! Course I can mate, I'll polish your Audi tt while I wait shall I? Jog on.

 

[southcoastboile]

People who book a job in and have to go out 20 mins after you arrive

Liars who say things we're working until you carried out work on a completely unrelated thing.

tight customers who quibble everything or question everything

customers who make you stand there listening to there cr*p for over an hour when you know you don't want the job within 5 mins of looking at it, asking if you can reuse there existing half meter of copper in a different place to save money on a boiler change

Smelly filthy houses

ex lift engineers who grab the plate to plate out your hand after you have cleaned all the sludge out and start scrubbing around we're the o rings go telling you you will make more work for yourself as it will leak if you don't do this. Thanks mate it was clean anyway and I've only done about 100. Can you f**k off now and watch TV or something please.

People who tell you road by road how to get to there house. Yeah I'm busy and have a sat nav if I can't find it I'll ring you. Shut up.

 

[Leo21]

People who book a job in and have to go out 20 mins after you arrive

Liars who say things we're working until you carried out work on a completely unrelated thing.

tight customers who quibble everything or question everything

customers who make you stand there listening to there cr*p for over an hour when you know you don't want the job within 5 mins of looking at it, asking if you can reuse there existing half meter of copper in a different place to save money on a boiler change

Smelly filthy houses

ex lift engineers who grab the plate to plate out your hand after you have cleaned all the sludge out and start scrubbing around we're the o rings go telling you you will make more work for yourself as it will leak if you don't do this. Thanks mate it was clean anyway and I've only done about 100. Can you f**k off now and watch TV or something please.

People who tell you road by road how to get to there house. Yeah I'm busy and have a sat nav if I can't find it I'll ring you. Shut up.

You could be my long lost twin!

 

[Paulplumb]

People who have baby on board notices on their car rear windows who drive like complete funts. They should put the notice on windscreen.

Working for anyone who has had a career in engineering

Unsolicited phone calls from PPI, scammers or SEO mofo's

Plumbing merchants and diy sheds with no stock

Customers who think they can pay by the minute

That'll do for starters, feel a bit bit better now thanks

 

[CES]

Don't get this now as I'm on the books but, customers who are great to your face and call the office to complain about you as soon as you are out the door, usually to try and get some money back, only for them to discover that the office dials direct through to your mobile and the end up speaking to you... the backtracking when they realise who they are talking to sometimes makes it worthwhile.

 

[Aquazone]

People who tell you road by road how to get to there house. Yeah I'm busy and have a sat nav if I can't find it I'll ring you. Shut up.

This ^^

 

[Whyme]

A custard today beckoned me into the loft to show me a few stubbs of copper on the insulation after a boiler swap, Then proceeded to pull all the insulation up to make sure i hadn't thrown all my crap under it...Thanks for making my whole body and eyeballs itch Paranoid Android.

 

[Irish]

This ^^

Twice

 

[Ermintrude]

It's good for the loft to have materials stored

 

[goz666]

What does me is when 19/20 year old girls decide to shower while we've got the stairs and landing carpet up and half the floorboards, then walk past dressed just in their underwear back to their bedroom. Just not on IMO.

 

[Whyme]

And you've got an inspection mirror accidentally en route..

 

[Ermintrude]

Don't spend your time chatting to custard looking down her top as you may make a silly mistake

Answers on a post card

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

You fitted the boiler upside down???

 

[Ermintrude]

In Roy walker style "It's good but it ain't right, over to u dave"

 

[gasmanrob]

Magna clean on flow? And where you filling that up from?

 

[Ermintrude]

Boom! The airing cupboard. Remote gauge and loop. Disconnect expansion and cold fill tee into rising cold

 

[Reg Man]

I would have made the making good easier, by bricking up the hole before putting the pipes in.

 

[Ermintrude]

Do brick work from face side! Any way who said owt about bricking up? 300mm from flue.