If you think you've had a bad day, it wont compare

[jonnyswamp]

Got home early (2.00pm) this afternoon to my wife saying " I don't know whats going on, but the ambulance and police have been up and down the road all morning"
Got a phone call a bit later telling me that my mates wife (local pub landlord) has committed suicide
She was only 42 and was a struggling alcoholic, she leaves two children, one just started uni, one still in secondary school
To say I am devastated is an understatement, I can't begin to believe what her kids are going through
So, just in case you feel you've got the weight of the world on you're shoulders, or you are thinking the end is better than reality, take a step back and think of the people/loved ones you would leave behind, because when you're gone.....you're gone
PS I'm sorry if this is a depressing post, but I cant get my head around it. She has sorted herself out and left her kids in a lifetime of pain

 

[Phil]

Jesus, that's devastating news. My heart goes out to those kids...

:disappointed:

 

[Ray Stafford]

Its a terrible thing.

I have two uncles and a cousin who committed suicide. The cousin was the son of one of the uncles. I can't imagine what it must have done to my aunt (wife of one and mother of the other).

Those poor kids.

 

[PlumbBobBob]

not good mate not good at all. those poor kids are going to be really messed up at the most important time of their lives. i always think it is the cowards way out when someone does this and very selfish.

 

[jonnyswamp]

not good mate not good at all. those poor kids are going to be really messed up at the most important time of their lives. i always think it is the cowards way out when someone does this and very selfish.

I agree up to a point, but their mind isn't their own at that time when they decide to do it
One of my best mates father did the same about 30 odd yrs ago and he (my mate) still can't get over it (he came home from school to find his dad hanging as he walked through the front door) it messed him up then, and he's still messed up now

 

[Killy Bing]

I feel extremely sorry for both the people themselves and their family's.

I don't know if its because things are that much harder at the moment or that so much is expected of my age group but alot of my friends have had or still have these struggles.
particularly the grammar school girls

I try to help them out, simply talking and taking an interest in how they are means the world.
just being there for them.

I can sympathise and understand what the people feel like after finding someone as i'm still pretty damaged.

remember the dambusters film with richard todd?

both his sons committed suicide.
the second did it at my bus stop on my route to school.
pretty grim being 13 finding someone who's ended with with a shotgun to the head.

Richard Todd loses second son to suicide - Telegraph

 

[Ermintrude]

It's really selfish! Those kids will probably never get over

 

[gasmanrob]

It's really selfish! Those kids will probably never get over

All depends on your outlook if you have the ability to find humour in the darkest places chances are you'll be ok, if not then it will consume you.

 

[IDCHAPPY]

I agree up to a point, but their mind isn't their own at that time when they decide to do it
One of my best mates father did the same about 30 odd yrs ago and he (my mate) still can't get over it (he came home from school to find his dad hanging as he walked through the front door) it messed him up then, and he's still messed up now

That's bound to mess you up, poor kids and their poor mum, she, as you say, wasn't in a normal frame of mind

 

[rocketmanbkk]

Bad news that.

 

[Barry98]

I tell you all this now if anyone feels like this and you just want to talk , bloody ring me theres nothing wrong and i will help , i have GREAT knoweldege of this you are not alone pick up the phone

 

[Resolute]

It's terrible for all involved. I can only imagine how low someone must be to contemplate taking their life. I've witnessed first hand the devastation that is left behind though and it has long lasting effects.

 

[stevetheplumber]

It's really selfish! Those kids will probably never get over

i totally agree its like passing you troubles on to your children

 

[AWheating]

Suicide is not selfish. To be selfish you have to be in a fit state of mind. Unless you have been there yourself or spent time with those who have I think you can't really knowingly pass judgement.

Mental illness is just that an illness. Would you tell a person with cancer to cheer up, pull themselves together? Unfortunately this type of
Illness has a stigma which means many people suffering do not reach out for help. The NHS does not spend nearly enough on the staff and training needed. It's not uncommon to wait 6 months to see a specialist yet the death rate is very high, especially for young people. At a time when many social activities have withdrawn the young generations to sitting behind a screen the simplicity of having somebody to talk to face to face is harder then ever it seems.

 

[jonnyswamp]

She wasn't a selfish person when she was well, she was an absolute diamond
She wasn't strong enough to fight her demons (some people are, some aren't) I (and other people) had spent hrs talking with her over the past 12 mths or so
There's a lot more to this which I wont go into, I just didn't think she thought it was so bad that this was her only way out
She was only 43 and obviously hopelessly tormented, its just devastating for all concerned

If anyone reads this and sees any similarities with their own lives, or knows of others that may be in a similar situation, PLEASE speak to someone, its NEVER as bad as you may think and there is ALWAYS an answer

I've seen this too many times now and its heartbreaking

 

[Ermintrude]

Samaritans always there and trained to listen. Ok I would do anything to be there for my kids. Even if everyday was agony! I can understand how it could be so bad but I'm my wife's professional opinion I have no empathy and don't respond well to emotion. ( she's pretty well qualified to judge.)

 

[JAH HEATING]

It's really selfish! Those kids will probably never get over

It is an it isn't if you get me ??

you must be in one really bad place to do something like that, your heads gone an you're well past rational thinking.