L
lame plumber
Anyhow, got over the horrible virus over xmas, till sat night when the old jaw kept getting cramp, so drank whisky and went to bed after the film at 0100.
So handsome young plumber ( this is a fairy tale
), looked into the mirror whilst brushing his pegs, bit odd, so put his glasses on and realigned his eyes to mirror and screamed quietly at mirror. Looking back was a cross between Gollum and the elephant man.......................... the whole rhs of the old face was hanging down and it seemed my right jaw has sprouted a massive testicle. So thats what caused the jaw ache. nay pain.
Being a brave sort, manly, the right stuff, one immediately trotted to bedroom to sleeping wife to appraise her of the situation. Wifey was sleeping however, how to wake the slumbering dragon???? Easy hop in on my side of bed, bounce around a bit, wait for gentle snoring to cease and ask "ooh you awake?" the response was almost reasonable, so in a particularly manly way just mention the old jaw issue, seek a bit of advice, get told to "Shut the feck up, grow some and she'll look in the morning"!!
Being a true man, knew that it was wise to go no further, and lay there wondering, infection, cancer, gland issue and will I be around idc to need to worry, so bigggg sigh and roll onto side that dont hurt. SWMBO then getting fed up switch on her light, sighing and said lets see you bleedin whimp. So over I roll and she went "let me feel", so being hopeful I guided her hand to the relevant spot "Dont be stupid" she goes" so finger to lump on jaw, "feck me" is the response, on go her specs and she acknowledges in the normal female manner that the large 3rd testicle might be an issue, with the simple words "that looks feckin horrendous, does it hurt?" uh uh goes I.
Oh well says she, if it is bad in the morning, you can see a doc, night night!
So gollum fell asleep, eventually, swelling was down a bit in the morning, less stressed till youngest daughter points out I have the biggest zit on my face she has ever seen, and then attempts to burst it, bloody women. Pain was of a high level, so retreated to lounge and tv for the rest of Sunday.
Off docs first thing monday, informed it was a salivary gland stone, which can block the ducts. they normally break free themselves, mine did as I thought a filling had dropped out when i crunched on it, it was rather big and thought nothing more till the doc pointed out that was probably the stone. So face has resumed normal ugly look, back to happy person. Be advised dehydration is one of the causes of this affliction, even alcohol induced dehydration, so pouring fluid down me at present.
Be advised, you dont want this little gem, it hurts and the females in the family dont sympathise, its not as bad as giving birth I have been informed!, dont know how they know as one was asleep for all 3, and to my knowledge daughter hasnt.
Happy New Year folks
So handsome young plumber ( this is a fairy tale
), looked into the mirror whilst brushing his pegs, bit odd, so put his glasses on and realigned his eyes to mirror and screamed quietly at mirror. Looking back was a cross between Gollum and the elephant man.......................... the whole rhs of the old face was hanging down and it seemed my right jaw has sprouted a massive testicle. So thats what caused the jaw ache. nay pain.Being a brave sort, manly, the right stuff, one immediately trotted to bedroom to sleeping wife to appraise her of the situation. Wifey was sleeping however, how to wake the slumbering dragon???? Easy hop in on my side of bed, bounce around a bit, wait for gentle snoring to cease and ask "ooh you awake?" the response was almost reasonable, so in a particularly manly way just mention the old jaw issue, seek a bit of advice, get told to "Shut the feck up, grow some and she'll look in the morning"!!
Being a true man, knew that it was wise to go no further, and lay there wondering, infection, cancer, gland issue and will I be around idc to need to worry, so bigggg sigh and roll onto side that dont hurt. SWMBO then getting fed up switch on her light, sighing and said lets see you bleedin whimp. So over I roll and she went "let me feel", so being hopeful I guided her hand to the relevant spot
"Dont be stupid" she goes" so finger to lump on jaw, "feck me" is the response, on go her specs and she acknowledges in the normal female manner that the large 3rd testicle might be an issue, with the simple words "that looks feckin horrendous, does it hurt?" uh uh goes I.Oh well says she, if it is bad in the morning, you can see a doc, night night!
So gollum fell asleep, eventually, swelling was down a bit in the morning, less stressed till youngest daughter points out I have the biggest zit on my face she has ever seen, and then attempts to burst it, bloody women. Pain was of a high level, so retreated to lounge and tv for the rest of Sunday.
Off docs first thing monday, informed it was a salivary gland stone, which can block the ducts. they normally break free themselves, mine did as I thought a filling had dropped out when i crunched on it, it was rather big and thought nothing more till the doc pointed out that was probably the stone. So face has resumed normal ugly look, back to happy person. Be advised dehydration is one of the causes of this affliction, even alcohol induced dehydration, so pouring fluid down me at present.
Be advised, you dont want this little gem, it hurts and the females in the family dont sympathise, its not as bad as giving birth I have been informed!, dont know how they know as one was asleep for all 3, and to my knowledge daughter hasnt.
Happy New Year folks
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