things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[jase158]

havent checked all yet, but had to write these down before I forgot,

Yes British gas are amazing, they do such a great job, to be honest your better off giving them a call as they will cover you for anything and all at only £20 a month, let me go to my van and i will get there number for you.

Yes the previous plumber did an absolutely amazing job, I am so impressed that I dont want to go and touch any of his work as it will surely ruin the greatness of it

Yes I have heard of that plumber and he is brilliant.

Yes that forum you looked up explains your exact problem and I will come and fix it for you

Yes you were right and it was the sensor on the boiler and yes i should of listened to you

 

[Keefy]

"Can I have a go of your Stannah Stairlift?"

 

[petercj]

"Do you have any candles? It's dark in there, and I can smell something!"

 

[leelister6]

Can you stand a bit closer mate?

 

[sowt]

thats free

 

[nicro3]

I don't take tip's

 

[gasmanrob]

Really your farther in law used to be an engineer? And he's here all day tomorrow fantastic! I can't wait to meet him

 

[Roger Welton]

No thianks I wouldn't like a biscuit with my cuppa

 

[petercj]

No Mr Jones, those boxers you found under the bed are not mine - I always go commando!

 

[kay-jay]

"Can I have a go of your Stannah Stairlift?"

Ha ha my mate had a go on one while the custard was at her daughters and we were throwing in a full heating.....it got stuck half way up the stairs and wouldn't budge. He had to eat a lot of humble pie and pay for an engineers visit. I nearly wet myself laughing

 

[Keefy]

"I've done your ball cock, checked the long screw on your gas supply, done a tightness test so that flange is definitely tight and will now check your man hole... oh dear, forgot about political correctness for a moment there love!"

 

[Alina]

Of course I Will do all the extras at no extra cost

 

[1Steven]

Do you want fries with that?

 

[Masood]

Of course you can order your bathroom on my account so you can get trade prices...

 

[oz-plumber]

Had a bloke calm me and ask me how to make his heating system more efficient.

Long story short....

.....told him it's cheaper for him to pay the gas bill than it would be to get rid of his wife.

He didn't see the funny side of it.