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WHPES

Plumbers Arms member
Plumber
Gas Engineer
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My best one so far:

Customer calls to say she has just had a washing machine installed (by a handyman) but all her whites are coming out grey. Been onto the washing machine manufacturer who says is won't be the washing machine. Anyway, I get onto site and find the handyman has used one of those instant tee fittings onto a nearby pipe, which turns out to be the central heating!
 
Funny enough I just got a job to alter a washing machine waste. The kitchen fitter bossed it straight into the bottom of the soil stack, obviously it absolutely stinks.

I got the job of running the waste to meet up with the sink waste, lol
 
Did work for a lady once and she was an absolute nightmare to work for.
Alarm bells should of started ringing when I went to price up a new bathroom suite and when I got there she said that she had changed her mind and wanted a LOFT CONVERSION DOING!!!
 
Once went to look at a mixer shower that had stoped, when I got ther and switched the shower pump on it worked fine, they had had some friends over with a young child who had been told to turn everything off that was not needed to save the planet/electicity and the young lad had carryed on in every house he went into.
 
Years ago. Done a complete plumbing and heating on a large house, from stopcock and manholes, for a 42 year old and his wife. He died suddenly with out a will, his estate when to probate. Mine went in the red. Took 6 month to sort it out and get me money. Some client s have no consideration.
 
clients dying without paying, and your complaining about it - have some consideration for the family please....
the one that died on me without paying had a return visit and pump system removed. left probate to deal with that - selfish of them isnt it.
 
once had a call of gas smell coming from washing machine ,youve guessed it,
customer been to b/q got one of those self tapping washer taps and connect to gas ,he was mortified ,when explained what he had done,asked if i knew a spark as he was,nt so sure now about elecy shower he was running on a plug in the hall ,what i noticed when using loo,never a dull moment
 
we looked at a job for a guy who was a designer for a local renewable's company. And he asked us to put a tank connector onto his septic tank, then run a pipe over to his patio. Which he planned to connect onto his bbq.

When he told me this i absolutely wet myself. I then proceeded to ask him about pressure reduction, gas storage and flashback protection. Then proceeded to make jokes like, wouldnt wana be invited to that bbq, light the grill then your septic tank blowing over your guests, also reminded him, his sausages would taste like ****. Anyway after dismissing that job, iv recently heard he had someone else do it.

So when it comes to lighting time, im gona sit out of town on my deck chair and see what happens
 
NOT SO FUNNY
I used to work with a bloke who was as tight as a ducks arse. He was loaded. To save money he replaced his own gas fire. Didn't turn up for work one day so somebody was sent to his house, no response looked through window he ,his wife and 2 kids looked as if they were asleep on the settee. They were dead due to carbon monoxide poisoning !!!!!
 
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