I suspect it's a motor problem but it's borderline-symptomatic at the moment and the kitchen tap, for the reasons you listed, is the worst case. I.e. starting against near-closed outlets.
There's another clue buried in the symptoms, which is that the system has been in for 3 years but this started as a problem only 6 months ago. Of course, it's difficult to decide whether the pump is dying of natural causes or whether something about the installation is overstressing it.
My next move would be a forensic comparison of the installation with the Grundfos instructions. IIRC those pumps have a minimum displacement of 5 l/min. Grundfos also have a faultfinding page:
Technical Troubleshooter - Grundfos
and a contact page for 'faults not covered', which is the case here:
Contact - Grundfos