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Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by townfanjon, Mar 25, 2019.
Discuss The Yorkshire thread in the General Off-Topic Chat area at UKPlumbersForums.co.uk.
I nic all these Yorkie threads from all over , I will try keep this thread running for a laugh .
A Yorkshireman and a Lancastrian are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road.
To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Yorkshireman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whisky.
He hands the bottle to the Lancastrian, whom exclaims,'' may Lancashire and Yorkshire live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The Lancastrian man then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Yorkshireman, whom replies:
''no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here!''
A Yorkshireman and a Lancastrian are walking through a forest in the USA. Suddenly, they see a bear in the distance, coming towards towards them. The Yorkshireman stops, takes some running shoes from his bag and starts putting them on.
"You idiot...", says the Lancastrian, "...those won't help you outrun a bear!"
"I don’t have to outrun the bear,” the Yorkshireman replies. "I just have to outrun you."
There now't more annoying when some folks says they are travelling north, and put ‘I’m going ooooop north’. When Yorkshire folk say ‘up’, does it rhyme with ‘hoop’? No, it doesn’t – so it is just ‘up’, thanks.
This you Town?
Wish I had that much hair
Here one I saw earlier
Got times wrong Harvest, we're at twerk 08:00 - 15:00, then off t pub wit ferret int pocket for a pint o cask.
A Yorkshireman and a Lancastrian man were sat next to each other on a train. A beautiful woman comes and sits down in their compartment during a stop, and then the train continues on moving.
As the train goes through a tunnel, suddenly the carriage is pitch black, as there was a problem with the lighting. All the passengers hear a kissing noise, then a loud slapping sound. The train emerges into daylight, and the Lancastrian is sat with a sore red cheek, but all else is normal.
The woman thought ‘that Lancastrian guy must have tried to kiss me, got the Yorkshireman instead and got slapped for it!’
The Lancastrian thought ‘That Yorkshireman must have kissed her, and she accidentally slapped me for it!’
The Yorkshireman thought ‘I can’t wait for the next tunnel. I’m gonna make that noise and give that Lancastrian fella another slap!’
A man from Barnsley goes to the vet.
The vet says, "I hear you've got a problem with your cat."
"Aye," the man replies.
"Is it a tom?" the vet asks.
"No," the man says, "I brought it wi' me!"
Just saw that one online. Still made me laugh.
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