B
Barry98
The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up on the motorway.'
'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you as gently as I can....
"Your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."'
The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on,
'We've checked your insurance and you've actually got a £9,000 compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work just as well as your old one, better in fact.
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch.'
The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.)
'So it's a simple decision,' the doctor says, "You need to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch willy before and you decide to go for a nine willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine incher before and you decide only to invest in a five incher now, she might be a bit disappointed.
So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision.'
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife
The doctor comes back the next day.
'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have.' says the chap.
'And has she helped you to make the decision?'
'Yes, she has' he says.
'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.
'We're having a new kitchen.'
Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time!
A woman went to a Asda customer service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special".
Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS!!!!!!" The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks, "what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS!!!" And doing so draws and even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads "lady, why are you saying that?
In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BOOBS SQUEEZED WHEN I AM BEING SC**WED!!
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded.
'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you as gently as I can....
"Your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."'
The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on,
'We've checked your insurance and you've actually got a £9,000 compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work just as well as your old one, better in fact.
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch.'
The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.)
'So it's a simple decision,' the doctor says, "You need to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch willy before and you decide to go for a nine willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine incher before and you decide only to invest in a five incher now, she might be a bit disappointed.
So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision.'
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife
The doctor comes back the next day.
'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have.' says the chap.
'And has she helped you to make the decision?'
'Yes, she has' he says.
'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.
'We're having a new kitchen.'
Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time!
A woman went to a Asda customer service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special".
Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS!!!!!!" The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks, "what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS,SQUEEZE MY BOOBS!!!" And doing so draws and even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads "lady, why are you saying that?
In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BOOBS SQUEEZED WHEN I AM BEING SC**WED!!
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded.
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