re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour
[h=3]Read Aloud For Best Effect!!![/h]The European Union commissioners have
announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred
language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In
the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil
servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one
less letter.
There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of
the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
