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Discuss Week 3 in the great Intergas virgin give-away in the Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board area at PlumbersForums.net

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R

Ray Stafford

Morning all.

Well, week one was fun, but week 2 started to get a bit boring after a while.

Not for CH4 obviously, but for everyone else.

So lets just remind everyone of the basic deal:

our favourite sponsor has FIVE (count them, one, two, three, four, FIVE) Intergas boilers to give away. Each one is worth a thousand (inc VAT) of your Great British Pounds.

Absolutely free. No charge. Not a penny. We will even throw in a jig, flue kit and delivery. Your bank balance will not be depleted by so much as a brass farthing.

Before I go any further, I should express my inestimable thanks to Mr Steve Zouch, Mr Jim Boyce and Mr Andy Burton of Intergas for their spectacular generosity in providing these boilers, and for their bottle in putting their product in front of all of you for honest review.

The boiler in question is the top-of-the-range 30kw Combi Compact ECO-RF. This is not the boiler that most Intergas users will be aware of (the HRE is the well known one). The ECO-RF range is a souped-up version and has all the features one expects of Intergas - easy maintenance, separate expansion, just 4 moving parts, legendary heat-ex, hot water available even when the pump fails, along with:

  • Built in Honeywell RF programmable stat
  • 10 year warranty* (so long as you attend the manufacturers training course)


To qualify for this freebie, you must be:


  • a Gas Safe Registered engineer.
  • the main decision maker in your business.
  • An Intergas virgin. So you must not ever have fitted an Intergas boiler, or been on one of their courses.

By submitting your application for a freebie, you agree to the following conditions:

  • You will attend an Intergas training course (approx 4 hours) at one of their 21 training centres around the country before you receive your free boiler.
  • You (and your customer if necessary) will co-operate with the Intergas marketing team if requested for photos and/or interviews
  • You agree to write an honest review on this forum of your experience with the training course and the boiler. The review does not have to be positive, but any criticisms should be constructive

Later on, there will be another freebie for Intergas ****s only - but for now, we are only open to intergas virgins.

Here's the change for this week.

Providing you qualify under the rules, you enter by posting on this thread, on the open forum, before close of business on Wednesday 1st July, a poem that you have written.

It can EITHER be about:

Intergas boilers

OR

The life of a plumber/heating engineer/gasman/whatever-you-prefer-to-call-yourself.

It can be short or long, serious or funny. It might be a sonnet, and ode, a limerick, or even perhaps even a haiku. I'm partial to a bit of doggerel myself.

It must be original.

Depending on how many entrants there are, I will decide on how to shortlist, but I may use a forum poll. Equally, I may not.

If we get something really good, we'll send out a press release, and you might find a new career as poet in residence at Gas-safe! :)

Good luck.
 
Is there a separate prize for employed, hard working poem writers?..:35:

OK, just to widen the interest, I will add an unspecified prize for the best poem by a non-qualifying entrant. (ie, non-gas plumbers, or forum members employed by larger organisations)

So please make it clear if you submit a poem whether you are putting yourself up for the Intergas freebie, or for the mystery prize. :)
 
Good morning all I will get us all started on this then.

There was a clunk and a clang and a big bloody bang from me old back boiler.

Out came the gasman as quick as a flash who said you need a new combi boiler.

You have nothing to fear your Intergas installer is here , Fitting this boiler on the jig it will be on the wall real fast so get the kettle on im starting to GASP.

Its done now my boiler with a long warranty , 4 moving parts and some wireless majiggy which looks rather smart which I have no idea what it does so I just push it to start, With water so fast she will soon have her bath.

Hail to the Gasman

( Entry for boiler )
 
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there was a old plumber from ealing
whose boiler packed up for no reason
he won a prize ,which brought tears to his eyes
and now he has a warm feeling

boiler entrant
 
There was a young lady from fareham
Whose body was ..............

Ooops, public forum!
lol
 
There's a mod on UKPF you all know,
Who usually misses out on freebies,
Williams have him on a black list.
This doesn't completely rhyme.....
I don't care....
 
A lot of us have done our work for many a long year
In that time we`ve heard every sob story
So now we tend to say "Oh yer!"

Our knees may creak, our backs may ache
But we still love it at the end of a job
When the customer pays and say`s "That`s great"

Mystery prize entrant.


(Know it`s rude to ask but the 15mm Aladdin easy-fit iso would be great to try out)
 
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There once was a fella called Len,
Who'd give his right knacker for a pen...
 
There's a mod on UKPF you all know,
Who usually misses out on freebies,
Williams have him on a black list,
And that is where he will stay say`s Ray

Sorry mate couldn`t pass up the chance.
 
So Ray wants us all to write poems to him... We're a long way from Valentines day Ray ;)
 
There was a plumber known as Cropp
Who was known to have the odd strop
“I never win a prize”
Were his frequent, sad cries
But never did the penny drop

John’s nemesis was a man called Ray
A fiendish merchant they say
Who knew full well
But would never tell
That the courier DID go that way

Ray liked to tease and torment
Poor Croppie with wicked intent
He’d dangle the bait
Then sit back and wait
For croppie’s tearful lament

The moral of this tale, lads, is clear
If free boilers and gifts you hold dear
Don’t wind up old Ray,
Or live too far away
Or you’ll miss out too, I fear!


Mystery prize entry... :D
 
And AP for having a hissy fit!

I'm not having a hissy fit I will just buy my own pen! Stupid game. I'm getting english lesson flashbacks here. There was always that one smug git who could spend 5 minutes doing his homework and still got an A+! Well you ain't playing in my gang at lunchtime masood!
 
There was an Old Plumber called Jon
who was happy to bimble along
he wasnt that bad
but became rather sad
when a mod decided not to ignore him

so off he went
for some time to repent
the fact he was rude
to the forum (not the whole story :) )

But it is sad to say
he beggared his back the next day
and had nothing to do or play

He had the idea
to pop back and appear
as a lame plumber m'dear
with manners and grace on the forum

Having been almost good
it remains to be seen
if this new chap will be deemed
fit to win a ludorum (mystery prize) :)
 
There was a plumber known as Cropp
Who was known to have the odd strop
“I never win a prize”
Were his frequent, sad cries
But never did the penny drop

John’s nemesis was a man called Ray
A fiendish merchant they say
Who knew full well
But would never tell
That the courier DID go that way

Ray liked to tease and torment
Poor Croppie with wicked intent
He’d dangle the bait
Then sit back and wait
For croppie’s tearful lament

The moral of this tale, lads, is clear
If free boilers and gifts you hold dear
Don’t wind up old Ray,
Or live too far away
Or you’ll miss out too, I fear!


Mystery prize entry... :D

That's pretty good, I've wrote one, but in mine Croppie and Ray are a bit more friendly with each other.....it was the only way I could get it to rhyme

Will see if I can change it, to make more sense.
 
That's pretty good, I've wrote one, but in mine Croppie and Ray are a bit more friendly with each other.....it was the only way I could get it to rhyme

Will see if I can change it, to make more sense.

Ray and gay?
:eek:
 
there was a lady called Minnie
who wore a particular pinnie
when she bent over
with her hands in the clover
her pinnie stopped masking her...........ooh public forum
 
There once was a man called Ray, competitions, free sweets & prizes was his forte...

Then one day he had a real treat for us all, 5 shiny new boilers for the gas safe amongst us all, many tried, but few will succeed, it turns out these merchant bosses aren't easy to please...

The prize was a great one, the best boilers some say, it turns out theres an alternative to the plastic Bosch way, with only 4 moving parts & a long guarantee, customer satisfaction was a sure thing for me...

My gas safe is proven, I was eliminated before, this is my poem for Intergas galore :)
 
There once was a man called Ray
Oh, he used to love to play
On this forum, he spent his day
Oh, the things he gave away

He had a great big shop
Nearly as big as the Co-op
His best mate was Mr Crop
He loved to throw a strop

Mr Crop, lived far, far away
No deliveries for you said Mr Ray
Not even if you pay
This made Mr Crop bray

He wasn’t all that bad Mr Williams
He’d share some of his millions
With the plumbing forum minions
This is where they shared all their opinions

Ray loved to give away a freebie
Even though it made everyone greedy
They thought it’d be easy
So they all said they were needy

But Ray had a plan
That would make the process span
He wasn’t going to make it quick
He made us watch the clocks go tick

To stop it turning into a great big fight
A poem he made us write
Even though we’re not all that bright
So off we went writing late into the night

The boiler being given away is an Intergas
Apparently top of the class
This is an opportunity that one must not pass
It could save us a load of brass

The boiler came from the land of the Dutch
Parts, it didn’t have much
Only four that moved on this Combi Compact
Now that is a fact

So we all joined the queue
To have a chance at winning this boiler and flue
We all sat there with a brew
Waiting for Ray to reveal his crew…


(Boiler Entry)​
 
Whilst fishing today, my thoughts turned to Ray
And the boilers he was dishing out
Then thoughts turned to fear
A computer wasn't near
Could I enter? I really did doubt

No fish for my tea, there's none in the sea
Back up the M5 I did drive
I've just sat down, now in my night gown
Just barely feeling alive

I've been up since 3, my beds calling me
But I'll try and make it all rhyme
The boilers my goal, not another lump of coal
I hope I'm more lucky this time

Boiler draw
 
Who knew plumbers had so much poetry in their souls?!
 
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